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African American wedding
A good headline should pop out at you, and that is certainly what Black and single: Is marriage really for white people? did for me. Headline writers should jot this one down in their notebooks, this is the kind that makes people stop to read.


The story itself is part of the ongoing series on CNN called Black in America. Each show focuses on a different aspect of life, last night's show was about marriage. The first thing that stuck out, aside from the title, was the assumption that A) all black women are heterosexual, and B) all black women are looking to get married. Marriage is shown as the ideal, the answer to problems such as poverty and education.

I won't pretend to know what life is like for blacks in America, but I know what it's like to be unmarried. Statistics say that I am a single mother because we choose not to take the traditional marriage route with our family. I'm getting used to the "Why are you still single?" Those types of questions are not specific to a certain race, nearly any unmarried woman past a certain point begins to feel the pressure to just settle down and get married. Screw love, just settle for the first guy who is willing.


Dionne Hill did point out a pretty good statistic on why marriage isn't happening as often as some would prefer.
Today, black women outnumber black men almost 2-to-1 in higher education. But white women are also surpassing white men in college enrollment and completion, according to the National Center on Education Statistics.

What is a rooted example in the black community is also sprouting legs among America's other racial groups. I am part of a generation of Americans who are choosing to postpone marriage while they pursue their careers.

However it seems to me that there are other numbers she left out. Like those who want to get married but cannot legally. Or those who, like me, are in committed relationships and don't want to be legally tied to someone else. Those who simple choose not to get married, or have seen the negative sides of marriage and want nothing to do with that.
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News From Around The Web

July 22nd 2008 14:54
screaming
Why is it that reading the news sometimes makes me feel a little stabbity? I don't know what it is, but often I just have to put down the paper or turn off the computer and walk away. Luckily I know several deep breathing exercises. Today is one of those days when scrolling through my news updates I can feel my blood pressure going up. So rather than risk a heart attack trying to explain the painfully bad in the news, I'm just going to share a quick run down of the articles that are not helping to ease the headache in the back of my head. Warning, be sure to take a couple aspirin before attempting to read this.

Female soldiers raise alarm on sexual assaults - "It took Diane Pickel Plappert six months to tell a counselor that she had been raped while on duty in Iraq. While time passed, the former Navy nurse disconnected from her children and her life slowly unraveled.

Carolyn Schapper says she was harassed in Iraq by a fellow Army National Guard soldier to the extent that she began changing clothes in the shower for fear he'd barge into her room unannounced — as he already had on several occasions."

Need for Survival Fuels Sex Work, High Birth Rate Kills Mothers in Afghanistan - "Women and young girls are being pushed to commercial sex work due to high food prices and widespread unemployment in Afghanistan. High fertility rates, poor health services, and a high maternal mortality rate compound these issues."

Online Adoption Agency Denies Service to Gays - McCain should be smiling over this one " [...] as the couple researched Websites that help birth mothers find loving permanent homes for their babies, they were disturbed to learn that the popular ParentProfiles.com only allows "one male husband and one female wife" couples to use its Internet-based adoption-matching service."

New Legislation Threatens American-Indian Women's Reproductive Health
- "Opponents say Vitter has tethered crucial health programs to an anti-abortion agenda and brazenly targeted Native women's reproductive rights.

't's a race-based amendment, because it's trying to reduce our right to access abortion more than any other race of women in this country,' says Charon Asetoyer of the Native American Women's Health Education Resource Center (NAWHERC), a research and advocacy organization."

I'm going to try and end on a good note by pointing to this incredible article by Senator Clinton calling out the anti-choice, anti-science crowd for showing their true colors on abortion, birth control, and sex. Rock on Hilary, rock on.

The Bush Administration is up to its old tricks again, quietly putting ideology before science and women's health. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is poised to put in place new barriers to accessing common forms of contraception like birth control pills, emergency contraception and IUDs by labeling them "abortion." These proposed regulations set to be released next week will allow healthcare providers to refuse to provide contraception to women who need it. We can't let them get away with this underhanded move to undermine women's health and that's why I am sounding the alarm.
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Hat tip Crooks and Liars:

birth control
So apparently on the Cafferty Files they were discussing McCain's bumbling attempt at not answering why he thinks Viagra is OK for insurance companies to pay for and birth control is not. After a little conversation Cafferty comes up with a gem of an answer. Male penises are deserving of medical treatment, women's ovaries are not. If anyone can explain the logic of that one please go right ahead, I'm too busy picking up the pieces of my exploded brain.

CAFFERTY: Well, you know, the answer is Viagra is used to treat a medical condition, erectile dysfunction. Birth control is a lifestyle choice. And that’s why insurance companies don’t reimburse for it unless pregnancy represents a danger for the woman. And then there’s a gray area where you can do a negotiation.

Now, perhaps it's because I'm a woman and have more experience dealing with ovulation than I do with trying get a hard on I see things as quite the opposite. Ovulation and menstruation are more medical conditions than getting it up is. Choosing to have sex, the thing that would require a man to worry about needing Viagra, is a lifestyle choice. Women, however, don't generally get to make the "lifestyle choice" of whether or not we're going to have our period.

Now, I know some will say that having sex would be a prerequisite for needing birth control as well, making both lifestyle choices. However hormonal birth control is often prescribed to women to control several actually medical conditions that have nothing to do with whether or not a person has sex. Heavy, painful, absent periods, symptoms of menopause, and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) are all treated with hormonal birth control. Tell me, how many conditions are treated with Viagra?

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What I Miss This Week?

July 17th 2008 19:44
browsing
I can't believe it's Thursday already and I haven't posted. It's certainly not been for a lack of things to write about. Sometimes I just need to take a few days away from the news feeds to preserve my sanity. Or at least reduce the wear and tear on my throat from screaming at the top of my lungs at the news. But I'm back now, loaded up with chocolate and a new bottle of wine. So what's on the radar this week?

The Department of Health and Human Services has decided that medical standards is for the birds, what we really need is to listen to the crackpots on the religious right. The new proposal would be to ignore what the American Medical Association and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists all say about pregnancy and declare that it really begins whenever the fundies say it does. I'd like to remind all the people who claim that "pr-life" really isn't anti-choice that declaring birth control the same as abortion kind of leans towards that "screw your choice" side of things. At least they're ballsy enough to finally stop hiding behind false claims of being for "the babies" and just admitting they want women barefoot and knocked up


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World Population Day 2008

July 11th 2008 19:23
World population Day 2008
I just got this in my email box and wanted to share it. Today is apparently World Population Day. I wish I had known about this sooner so that I could have planned something for it. Clearly I am never looking in the right places or signed up for the right email lists because it always seems that I hear about events such as this too late. Still, for those interested:

In 1968, world leaders proclaimed that individuals have a basic human right to determine freely and responsibly the number and timing of their children. Forty years later, modern contraception remains out of reach for hundreds of millions of women, men and young people.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Dr. Morgantaler
Dr. Henry Morgentaler, the man who pioneered safe and legal abortions in Canada, is finally being honored for his work. Governor General Michaelle Jean named Dr. Morgentaler a member of the Order of Canada, the highest civilian honor. It is given to recognize those who have made their life's work serving and improving Canada.

The 85 year-old Holocaust survivor will receive his award later this year to honor the almost forty years of service towards women he has done. From opening an illegal clinic in 1969 and facing jail time to provide safe abortions for women to his landmark trial in 1983 that caused the regulations on abortion to be removed


[ Click here to read more ]
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Planned Parenthood Endorces Obama

July 9th 2008 11:45
Planned Parenthood
Not surprisingly Planned Parenthood has announced their support of Senator Obama. It seems fairly obvious, recent comments aside, that he would be the man to support. Though some, including myself, may disagree with his stance on late term abortions and the mental health care of pregnant women, the fact remains that Obama has been and still is the pro-choice candidate in the election.

Of course this goes beyond just abortion stances. On issues such as health care, family planning, and sex education Obama ranks miles above McCain. Though there has been some fury over Obama's comments on abstinence education I can't help but think that when he said "education and abstinence education" that he was referring to both real sexual education and abstinence. First it's a matter of semantics. The word "and" in there conveys to me that he means both, and the lact of the "only" attached to the end of abstinence makes me think that he's not promoting abstinence only education. Also, I just can't believe the man who said "to provide age-appropriate sex education, science-based sex education in schools" was the right thing to do for kindergarteners would take that back once the kids were old enough to actually be having sex. Call me old fashioned but I don't see teaching "the safest way is not to have sex" controdicts "But if you do, here's how to stay healthy


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money
McCain's comments recently that women who are not getting equal pay just need "education and training" enraged women at the time. His dismissive statement that it was women themselves causing the pay differences by not being educated or trained enough ignored the fact that many women are educated and trained equally as their male counterparts and still receiving less pay. Now a recent study has came out showing exactly that, that women are more likely to be underpaid than their males peers graduating from college along side them.

The study was led by Professor Charles Wilf of Duquesne University, used a national survey of more than 750 graduating college seniors to compile his data


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health care
I love when good news comes my way. This time I found two sweet tidbits on health care for women. Receiving adequate health care is so important to women's lives. As it is often stated when the economies slump women and other minorities are often hit the hardest. Part of that hit is the lack of proper health care and the insurance to pay for it. Maybe it's just me, but I think that when you can spend a little now to keep a significant part of your population healthy it will save you from spending a lot later to care for them later when they are truly sick. Not to mention that helping others should be the morally right thing to do. So South Carolina gets a big "Thank you' from me today.


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Dr George Tiller
Speaking of late term abortions, I was giddy to have read this tidbit of good news over the weekend.

The grand jury investigating Wichita abortion provider George Tiller adjourned Wednesday afternoon without a criminal indictment.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Time and time again the so called "pro-life" movement has shown it's true colors by being pro anything but life. At least not life as most people know it, in a thinking, feeling, living human being. It seems that once again the "pro-life" people have stepped up to say they are absolutely against life.

HIV
To celebrate National HIV Testing Day a group from Planned Parenthood made arrangements to pass out fliers at a local Wal-Mart. Despite what the extreme anti-choice like to claim, the fliers were in no way attempting to give porn and birth control to kindergarteners. What that would even have to do with HIV testing and prevention is beyond me anyways


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Montana Says No Way To CI-100

June 26th 2008 13:42
I'm tickled pink to have read this little tidbit in the news today.

Opponents of a proposed constitutional amendment to ban abortion by defining a fertilized human egg as a “person” announced Tuesday the measure has failed to gain enough support to qualify for the November ballot.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Recession Politics and Women

June 26th 2008 08:54
George Bush
According to the L.A. Times:

Three out of four Americans, including large numbers of Republicans, blame President Bush's economic policies for making the country worse off during the last eight years, according to a Los Angeles Times/Bloomberg poll released Wednesday, reflecting a sharp increase in public pessimism during the last year.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Feminists Love Men

June 24th 2008 08:05
lipstick
Last night I read about a city in Malaysia that was banning lipstick and loud high heel shoes for Muslim women. The reasoning was that this would some how prevent sexual assault. Aside from being a ridiculous case of blaming the victim this story is a good example of why feminism is actually good for men.

If we are to believe that banning lipstick and the clack of high heels will prevent sexual assault then we must assume that these things encourage sexual assault. Of course we also have to ignore the fact that sexual assault and rape is not about sex but instead about using power and force over another person. Now if we believe that something as simple as lipstick or heels is all that it takes to excites men to the point of committing sexual assault what are saying about men in general? Do we really believe that they are such savage animals that the slightest thing will drive them to commit assault


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I have no other blogs :(
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